Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Bring me that man meat
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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