So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
soo... how was my night?
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