he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
