last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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