Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
