i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
