No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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