i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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