Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
