You're my little dorito
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
