Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
