This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
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