On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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