I just pynch a tree in the face
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
