hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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