LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Randomize
