K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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