Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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