he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
