he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
