Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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