We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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