my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
