i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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