so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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