final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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