Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
