She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
