The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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