Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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