actually, I'm a sock model
I think my fart just growled at me.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
