Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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