I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
