I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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