It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
