would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
