I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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