he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
