i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
How external is "for external use only"?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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