you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
