..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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