I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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