we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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