he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
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