I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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