I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
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