O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
