she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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