I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
