I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
