your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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