she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I need moral support for this bender
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
