Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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