Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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