Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
