Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
the day after is always just damage control
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
