A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
