...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
